Getting out of (accidentally) calling someone a “fat bastard” – the idiots guide.

It’s been 4 months since I last (first!) blogged. I actually almost forgot about it, until I got an approval mail for a comment Johan posted. This (along with the exams and the need to study) seems to have been impetus enough to get me to do so again. Having said that, I suddenly remember that I have spent the past two weeks doing nothing but writing – 30 000 words to be exact – in a desperate attempt to get my degree on 12 December. The fire detracted from more than just my social life…

Aah, my social life. Electronic social networks (including Mxit, Facebook and the Eendrag forum) have really come into their own since the fire; increasingly I find myself pseudo-socialising through my fingers and thumbs. Three months down the line this has made me aware of an interesting phenomenon…

The problem (supposedly) is that debates, discussions and general chit-chat lose certain nuances when conducted over cables and airwaves. In ‘proper’ (face-to-face) conversation we use body language, facial expressions and intonation (inter alia) along with content to ascertain meaning. The way someone says something is thus just as important as what they actually say. Fair enough. I’ll even concede that electronic communication precludes this.

My problem is that now every time somebody says something that upsets somebody else, they ascribe it to a misunderstanding or misinterpretation based on a lack of non-verbal communication. The phrase “I’m sorry if you misunderstood what I said” is oft quoted on forums (along with the phrase “I’m sorry if you took offence”). This is normally followed with some variation on “what I really meant was <insert generic politically correct alternative here>.” Ugh. Worst of all is that corrections are generally inspired by false regret (based on some form of guilt or fear of retribution or whatever else).

This annoys me for two reasons. Firstly, people going around saying things they really shouldn’t (often involving derogatory stereotypes) and then chalk it up to a misunderstanding based on a lack of non-verbal communication (oh, you were being sarcastic…). Secondly, the onus of distilling correct meaning is now placed on the recipient of a communiqué. The problem isn’t really a lack of non-verbal queues as people would like to suggest – the problem is that people can’t express themselves properly to begin with (it’s not my fault you read what I actually wrote – you should have read my mind instead).

It is a sad state of affairs indeed, and one I don’t see improving. a) Electronic communication is on the rise. b) Writing ability is deteriorating @ n = r8. The upside is the freedom that comes from never having to take responsibility for what one says (true freedom of speech). And I think to myself, what a wonderful world!